The Showcase of the Immortals is almost here. WrestleMania 33 is just a matter of days away.
WWE has a stacked card on Sunday, with all the company’s championships set to be defended. There are huge returns, and the usual mix of excitement and unpredictability that comes every Mania season is here. Here is Rivalry’s full card and predictions.
I’ll be joined by that starry eyed fanboy The Phenom and of course Richard who just finished streaking through a church bingo hall.~MarkyMC
This card is stacked from top to bottom. I will actually agree with these dimwits on something though. Hey MarkyMC don’t you need a license to be that ugly? Are jealous that you can’t run naked anywhere with that repulsive physique yours? Don’t take stock in the Phenom’s picks this month either, but I guess a broken clock is right twice a day. His wife is having a baby so his head is not in the game. The thing that bothers me is that someone actually had sexual relations with this dude but that’s another story for another time! On to the picks. I wouldn’t bother even reading what those other two jabroni’s wrote but it’s your time waste it if you want.
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs. Enzo and Cass vs. Sheamus and Cesaro (Raw Tag Team Championships)
The go-home edition of Raw this past Monday saw it confirm that Gallows and Anderson will defend their titles in a Ladder Match—and it has at least given a fairly stale build some level of interest. However long Enzo and Cass have left as a tag team it would be bizarre if they don’t win the belts before a split. They seem like the team most likely to get the win.
Winners: Enzo and Cass ~ MarkyMC
Bada Boom! Softest guys in the room! How you doin’? How Enzo and Cass got into this match is beyond my understanding! Sheamus and Cesaro were handed this opportunity from a has been Mick Foley. They better take advantage of it because the real boss, Stephanie McMahon, will not give them another opportunity like this. This match isn’t even close!
Winners: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson ~ Richard
Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens (United States Championship)
Chris Jericho’s run with the United States Championship has been disappointing, at least in the way that he hasn’t really defended the belt as often as he probably should have. The rivalry with Owens could have survived without a title, but at least with the United States Championship on the line Sunday, it adds an extra dynamic to proceedings. This should be Owens’ chance to get revenge for Jericho costing him the Universal Championship at Fastlane.
Winner: Kevin Owens ~ MarkyMC
Chris Jericho’s mouth gets him into trouble again on Sunday. He wants to see the real Kevin Owens and he is going to get his wish. Kevin Owens is going to shut Chris Jericho’s stupid mouth for good. I would be surprised if this match doesn’t send Jericho packing for good. Kevin Owens may just end his career so he can go back to making what he calls music.
Winner: Kevin Owens ~ Richard
Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship)
Jax, as impressive as she has been in recent weeks, will be first to go, perhaps as the other three participants realize they need to join forces to take her out. Flair will then follow, maybe courtesy of a swerve involvement from Dana Brooke to set up that feud post-Mania. Then it leaves Banks and Bayley. And while it will be a brilliant, unmissable culmination to the match, the champ should hold onto the title. Expect a Banks’ heel turn post-match.
Winner: Bayley ~ MarkyMC
This match has a ton of potential! This is quite possibly the best match of the night. Bayley is going to need more than hugs after this match over. The two most dominant women in WWE will be at the forefront of this match. This match will be dominated by Charlotte Flair and Nia Jax. Nia showed her power when she decimated all three women in a tag match on Raw this past Monday, even destroying her tag-team partner. Nia continues her destructive path in the Women’s Division and eliminates all of her competition.
Winner: Nia Jax ~ Richard
Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin (Intercontinental Championship)
The title is ready for a fresh face. Under Ambrose’s possession, the belt has somewhat stalled, and in Corbin, there is a wrestler who is set for big things in 2017 and beyond. An Intercontinental title run is where it begins.
Winner: Baron Corbin ~ MarkyMC
You can’t fight fate! Dean Ambrose, who used to be the ultimate bad guy, has grown stale. Baron Corbin will have his first WrestleMania moment this Sunday as he runs rough shot over Ambrose.
Winner Baron Corbin ~ Richard
Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella vs. Natalya vs. Naomi (SmackDown Women’s Championship)
The writers were smart leaving the match open ended like they did. Just in case Naomi didn’t get back to full strength before Mania. It did leave speculation maybe we could see Eva-Marie or NXT’s Asuka for a main roster call up. But, I say that Naomi gets back the title she never lost.
Winner: Naomi ~ MarkyMC
Naomi lost her title because she could not fight to defend it. Natalya unleashes her fury in the Smackdown Women’s Division and takes what is rightfully hers. It does not matter if there is a late surprise entry or not, Natalya makes The Heart Foundation proud.
Winner: Natalya ~ Richard
John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. Maryse and The Miz
This has been one of the least interesting feuds in my opinion. The Miz and Maryse’s skits last week were only another piece of evidence added to the pile of regurgitated crap that is The Miz. It’s a feud that doesn’t really have that much energy about it, although Cena’s promo this past Smack Down Live added some fire as he completely roasted the Miz. These two should deliver when they are squaring off. Unfortunately for the heels, though, they are guaranteed to come up short.
Winners: Cena and Bella
The Miz is the biggest WWE superstar that has ever graced a WWE ring. What he brings to this company in terms of star power has never before been seen. Do you know the reason you can’t see John Cena? He hasn’t done anything of relevance in the last five years. Don’t even get me started on Nikki too. She is trying to steal fame by riding on Cena’s coattails. Her plan has failed miserably. The real power couple of the WWE prevails at the end of this match.
Winners: The Miz and his lively wife Maryse ~ Richard
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles
There is absolutely no way WWE will have a full-time competitor in Styles be beaten by a part-time authority figure in Shane, even if there is controversy involved. Styles has to return to the WWE Championship picture at some point soon, so for that reason alone, he has to be the overwhelming favorite. Expect a great match none the less.
Winner: AJ Styles
Phenomenal does not even begin to describe AJ Styles! Quite possibly the greatest in ring performer in the WWE today. To have to prove himself against Shane McMahon and the power trip he is on is ludicrous! Shane McMahon has never been in a wrestling match with anyone as talented as AJ Styles. Styles teaches McMahon a lesson that is years in the making. Shane-O-Mac? More like Shane-O-Whack!
Winner: AJ Styles ~ Richard
Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
Nobody is quite sure what to expect from the non-sanctioned match between Seth Rollins and his former mentor on Sunday. WWE is at a crucial point in this new era, and having veterans like HHH go over hugely talented stars of the future like Seth without a good reason makes no sense. The only variable is whether Finn Balor comes into the mix and joins forces with Triple H, but all the signs point to Rollins.
Winner: Seth Rollins ~ MarkyMC
Seth Freakin’ Rollins, it’s time to play The Game! The Architect meets the Destroyer! Get ready Seth, to have that bum knee of yours demolished. Not only will you be lucky to wrestle again you will be lucky if you can even walk after Triple H is finished with you. You signed your life over to the The Game and that’s exactly what he his going to take from you!
Winner: Triple H ~ Richard
The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns
Without being too disrespectful to The Deadman, this Sunday is all about Roman Reigns.
There is clearly a golden opportunity where if Reigns is going over Taker, doing it the right way could set him up for a huge future. He could cheat to beat him, put a second loss in his Mania record and go off on a run as Superheel.
Winner: Roman Reigns ~ MarkyMC
The Deadman steps into Roman’s yard at WrestleMania for the first(and probably last) time. Roman is not only The Guy, he is the baddest Superstar in the business. Just like Magic Johnson had to admit that his time had passed and handed the torch to Michael Jordan, Undertaker will realize that his old decrepit body does not belong in a WWE ring any longer. Undertaker it’s time for you to Rest In Peace!
Winner: Roman Reigns ~ Richard
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar (Universal Championship)
This article is going to be longer than the match. These two guys have to lay to rest the awful memories of WrestleMania XX and their match, which proved to be the final one of both their runs in the company. They cannot have this be the headline match to Mania, the fans will burn the place down
Winner: Brock Lesnar ~ MarkyMC
The Beast, Brock Lesnar, is more than Goldberg can handle in this match. Goldberg finally finds out what it is like to be taken to Suplex City! He takes his last ride in the WWE courtesy of an F5. Lesnar dismantles the super hero in the ring and walks out the new WWE Universal Champion.
Winner: Brock Lesnar ~ Richard
Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship)
Orton can handle a loss at Mania without a doubt. The two can feud through to SummerSlam with good writing. Doesn’t feel right for Bray to drop the belt this Sunday. He’s worked hard to get to this point. He deserves an extended run with the belt.
Winner: Bray Wyatt ~ MarkyMC
Sister Abigail has finally released the hold she has in Bray Wyatt courtesy of Randy Orton. They say what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. Orton you have unleashed a side of Bray Wyatt that even The Viper will have a hard time handling. Bray now possess all of the power! Follow the Buzzards Randy! After Bray is done with you that’s what will be feeding off your rotten flesh!
Winner: Bray Wyatt ~ Richard
(All Photo Credit to WWE)